Ever gave much thought to whether the person standing in front of you is fake or genuine?
We all have, and if you’re not completely full of yourself, you’ve probably stumbled on this article because you realise it’s not as easy as the movies make it out to be.
I’ve lost track of the people I’ve met who say they can spot a phoney. With the utmost confidence, I can honestly say few could ever deliver — ie., seen plenty of them get screwed over in some way or another by someone they deemed genuine who ended up being anything but.
There’s a lot of verbal and non verbal cues that are bandied about such as “If they look up and to the right they’re lying” or if someone smiles too much they’re trying to put on a show.
I believe that if you’re being fair, you need to take in the whole picture. There are indeed tell tale signs that someone is playing nice when they really aren’t at heart. Though I don’t suggest writing someone off just cause they have to scratch an itch under their left eye right when you ask them a question!
1. They don’t smile with their eyes.
This one’s pretty universal. Though it doesn’t necessarily indicate that someone is completely a fake, it does indicate that they’re faking a smile. When someone is genuinely smiling, their eyes will light up, wrinkles appear at the outer corners, and the inner edges of the eyebrows move downward.
Dead eyes combined with a smile may mean they’re a phoney and potential serial killer. It could also mean they’re having a tough day and not feeling particularly inspired at the moment.
2. They keep their distance and try to shield themselves from you.
This is one of those things I believe to be a genuine way to spot a fake nice person. People who keep their body turned away from you, cross their arms, or try to put objects between the two of you while they’re talking or “pretending” to listen are good cues that they’d really rather not be in that situation with you. These behaviors can also indicate lying if they’re telling a story or answering a question you’ve just asked.
Same goes for people who’re constantly looking here, there, and everywhere but at you. You know, like they’re looking for a reason to get the heck away from you?
It can also indicate shyness. However, if they’re smiling and acting engaged, such gestures are a definite sign they’re not being honest about their desire to be involved with a conversation with you.
3. They constantly interrupt you while you’re talking.
Pretty easy to spot this behavior. If someone can’t be bothered to listen to you until you stop speaking, they’re not really interesting in talking with you — perhaps at you — but not with you. This kind of behavior is a dead giveaway that you’re talking with a disingenuous person, regardless of how nice they may seem.
They might also be someone who feels like they’re never heard, or their opinions are never appreciated. However, someone who falls in that category is generally seething with anger on the inside, while smiling on the outside.
4. Fake nice people will agree with everything you say.
Yet another dead giveaway that someone is being a fakety-fake is when they flat out agree with everything you say. They might just be averse to conflict, but a truly genuine nice person will still speak their mind — within reason. The old “Does this dress look too small on me,” might garner a polite fib, but someone who constantly nods in agreement, or always changes their viewpoint after you counter with your own is definitely pandering to you, and their motives can never be trusted.
This might seem great at first, but when you really need them, you won’t be able to count on them.
5. Fake nice people are full of excuses.
The final tip today for identifying fake people is to really listen to them while they’re talking. Fake folks never own their opinions or failures. They’ll regale you with tons of stories about how people constantly plot against them, or why they haven’t quite made it where they want to be because of “X, Y, and Z.” While someone like this might seem like they’re nice, they don’t trust anyone and have no sense of loyalty — in most cases.
You just can’t trust someone who doesn’t own their crap. They’ll screw you over when the opportunity presents itself.
What are your most trusted clues that someone who seems nice really isn’t?
Main Image Credit: Incase/Flickr